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June 11, 2009

White Trash Haute Cuisine: Mock Lox, Faux Herring and More

I apologize for the un-readable font color and bizarre formatting. I have no idea why my blog editing equipment decided to get high on crack today. I'm too tired to fix it right now...

New selections include:
Mock Lox
Woody
What? So I married my daughter... that doesn't make me white trash!

Make Your Own Recycled Fridge Smoke House
3rd Place Ribbon Chicken Fried Spam
Hershey Bar and Budweiser Chili

Faux Creamed Herring

Lundegaard
Jerry Lundegaard says "You Betcha!"

Old Favorites:

Tang Pie
Skittles Infused Vodka
Mountain Dew Jelly



July 09, 2008

Coffee Jelly Parfait!

FestiveMilwaukee Gas Company put out some wicked little cookbooks back in the 60's. My mom had a few when I was growing up and they had the best cookie recipes ever in them. Not every one can be a home run, however. I was flipping through Festive Foods yesterday and came across this little culinary atrocity, and felt the need (as per usual) to share:

Coffee Jelly Parfait

1 Tbsp gelatin (plain)
2 1/4 c strong coffee
2/3 c sugar
1 Tbsp brandy flavoring
1 c heavy cream, whipped
1/2 c chopped, salted almond nut meats

Soften gelatin in 1/4 c cold coffee for 5 minutes. Heat remaining coffee to boiling and add the gelatin, stirring until dissolved. Add flavoring, 1/3 c sugar and blend. Pour into an 8 inch square pan and chill in Silent Gas Refrigerator until firm. Cut gelatin into 1/2 inch cubes. Add remaining sugar to whipped cream, and alternate coffee cubes, cream and nuts in parfait glasses. Chill before serving. Yield: 6 to 8 servings.

Keep an eye out at Starbucks for this unique taste sensation.

May 19, 2008

Jelly Jelly Bo Belly

Piggin If  you've never seen my website, which likely you haven't, you are probably wondering why I would want to make horrific sounding food like "Beet Jelly". Well, that's the point.

From "Piggin Out", author Arlene Hoffman, 2002. The author is a cousin of my own cousin. I have to add that the women from this family can cook. I mean they CAN COOK. The recipes I chose to sample here aren't indicative of a lack of skill in the kitchen. Attend one Baptist wedding or funeral dinner in southern Illinois and you will be subject to a gorge-fest food orgy worthy of Henry VIII. I highly recommend it.

Lastly, I am SO making the corncob jelly when the corn gets harvested this fall. I can't wait.

Corn Cob Jelly

12 dried field corn cobs with "a good red color" about them
1 box of powdered pectin ("Sur-jel")
3 c. sugar

In a large pot cover the cobs with water and bring to a boil; allow to boil for 10 minutes. Strain liquid through a cheese cloth and measure 3 cups of the corn flavored water into a large pan. Add the pectin, bring to a boil and allow to boil for 5 minutes. Add the sugar, boiling 7 minutes longer "until the mixture sheets off a wooden spoon". Skim any foam off and pour into jelly jars. (Read up on sterilization of canning jars if you've never done it before. I'd hate to see you get corn-cob botulism)

Beet Jelly

6 c. beet juice
1/2 c. lemon juice
2 boxes pectin (Sur-Jel)
8 c. sugar
1 box raspberry Jello

"This can be made from beets when they get too large to can."

Clean, peel and slice beets before juicing. (Doesn't say how to juice a beet, but I guess you could use a juicer. Whether you need to cook them first, don't ask me! I usually roast my beets in the oven, and the skins come right off, and they are pretty juicy - so maybe give that a try then put them through a food processor and strain the juice off.)

In a large pan combine beet juice, lemon juice and pectin. Bring to a boil and add jello and sugar. Boil six minutes. Ladle into sterile jars and seal as is recommended. Makes 12 pints.

Zucchini Preserves

6 c. ground up zucchini (courgettes)
6 c. sugar
1/2 c. lemon juice
16 oz. can crushed pineapple
2 (3 oz.) boxes apricot jello

In large pan, cook first three ingredients at a boil for six minutes. Add the pineapple and jello. Pour into sterile jelly jars.