White Trash Art

Campaigning reaches a buttery delicious Low

Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, released a cookie recipe to the press and is now being accused of thieving the recipe from Hershey's corporation. She uses slightly more butterscotch than the Hershey's recipe.

We have all become drooling morons, haven't we. No wonder everyone in the world hates us.

On to the important part: the recipe:

Cindy McCain's Oatmeal-Butterscotch Cookies

 

• 3/4  cup (1-1/2 sticks) unsalted butter or margarine, softened
• 3/4  cup granulated sugar
• 3/4  cup packed brown sugar
• 2  eggs
• 1  teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1-1/4  cups all-purpose flour
• 1  teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2  teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2  teaspoon salt
• 3  cups rolled oats
• 1-2/3  cups butterscotch chips

Directions

1. Heat oven to 375F.

2. In a large bowl beat the butter or margarine, granulated sugar and brown sugar together. Add the eggs and vanilla, beating well.

3. In a medium-size bowl, stir together the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture; stir until blended. Stir in oats and butterscotch chips. Drop by tablespoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheets.

4. Bake at 375°F for 10 minutes, until the edges begin to brown. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Coffee Jelly Parfait!

Milwaukee Gas Company put out some wicked little cookbooks back in the 60's. My mom had a few when I was growing up and they had the best cookie recipes ever in them. Not every one can be a home run, however. I was flipping through Festive Foods yesterday and came across this little culinary atrocity, and felt the need (as per usual) to share:

Coffee Jelly Parfait

1 Tbsp gelatin (plain)
2 1/4 c strong coffee
2/3 c sugar
1 Tbsp brandy flavoring
1 c heavy cream, whipped
1/2 c chopped, salted almond nut meats

Soften gelatin in 1/4 c cold coffee for 5 minutes. Heat remaining coffee to boiling and add the gelatin, stirring until dissolved. Add flavoring, 1/3 c sugar and blend. Pour into an 8 inch square pan and chill in Silent Gas Refrigerator until firm. Cut gelatin into 1/2 inch cubes. Add remaining sugar to whipped cream, and alternate coffee cubes, cream and nuts in parfait glasses. Chill before serving. Yield: 6 to 8 servings.

Keep an eye out at Starbucks for this unique taste sensation.

Oh, it is ON!

I was searching Amazon.com for useless shit (one of my favorite late night pastimes), when I came across the description of a new book by James Lileks. Lileks wrote "Gallery of the Absurd", a great little coffee table books with badly colored photos of atomic-era cookbooks. I know about it 'cause I share the same odd obsession with old cookbooks. Anyway, as much as I feel this guy is a kindred spirit and all, I couldn't help but notice the description of the book said:

" In Gastroanomalies, James Lileks gathers another remarkable assortment of dishes that once inspired cooks to brave new heights but now inspire sour stomachs and thoughts of “how did I survive?” Highlighted with excerpts from bizarre cookbooks (like Joan Crawford shilling for Bisquick) ".

Hmmmmm. Methinks I covered this very same old cookbook on my website 3 or 4 years ago!

For God sake, there are a hundred thousand old cookbooks, Lileks... find your own damn witty Joan Crawford schtik you thievin' book deal havin' so and so. I cry foul in the tiny universe of obsessively collecting and blogging about old cookbooks!

Yes I KNOW I need a life... I'm going to go cry into my copy of The Frito Bandito Cookbook now.

Summer is White Trash Heaven

Hank Williams Festival
June 06 - June 07, 2008
Georgiana, Alabama, USA

Helen Keller Festival
June 23 - June 29, 2008
Tuscumbia, Alabama, USA

Erotica LA
June 06 - June 08, 2008
Los Angeles, California, USA

Touch-a-Truck
June 07, 2008
Littleton, Colorado, USA

PurpleHull Pea Festival & World Championship Rotary Tiller Race
June 27 - June 28, 2008
Emerson, Arkansas, USA

Billy Bowlegs Pirate Festival
June 06 - June 07, 2008
Fort Walton Beach, Florida, US

Reptile Expo & Sale/Fathers Day Special
June 15, 2008
Davie/Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA

Iowa Sweet Corn Shuckfest
August 7, 8, 9, and 10
West Point, Iowa, USA

Bill Monroe Memorial Bean Blossom Bluegrass Festival
June 14 - June 21, 2008
Bean Blossom, Indiana, USA

Tall Tales Tell-Off Contest
June 21, 2008
Nashville, Indiana, USA

Yellowbanks Dulcimer Festival
June 06 - June 07, 2008
Owensboro, Kentucky, USA

Louisiana Homemade Ice Cream Freeze-Off
June 07, 2008
Lafayette, Louisiana, USA

Blistered Fingers Family Bluegrass Festival
June 19 - June 22, 2008
Sidney, Maine, USA

Break Out the Lumber Tournament
June 07 - June 08, 2008
Aberdeen, Maryland, USA

PastyFest
June 27 - June 28, 2008
Calumet, Michigan, USA

Gizzard Fest
June 06 - June 08, 2008
Potterville, Michigan, USA

The Elvis Presley Festival
June 05 - June 08, 2008
Tupelo, Mississippi, USA

NORTHREN MONTANAS ONLY WILD WEST FEST & POWWOW
June 27 - June 29, 2008
VAUGHN, Montana, USA

School of Rock Best of Season Jamfest
June 07, 2008
Pennington, New Jersey, USA

Night Shift New York
June 21, 2008
New York, New York, USA

World Juggling Day
June 14 - June 20, 2008
Davidson, North Carolina, USA

National Hollerin' Contest
June 21, 2008
Spivey's Corner, North Carolina, USA

Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival
June 13 - June 15, 2008
Avon, Ohio, USA

Hootin In The Holler
June 20 - June 22, 2008
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA

RC and Moon Pie Festival
June 21
Bell Buckle, Tennessee, USA

Luling Watermelon Thump
June 26 - June 29, 2008
Luling, Texas, USA

No-Name Festival
June 13 - June 14, 2008
Brazoria, Texas, USA

Maury River Fiddlers Convention
June 19 - June 21, 2008
Buena Vista, Virginia, USA

Rosalia Battle Days
June 07 - June 08, 2008
Rosalia, Washington, USA

Cheese Curd Festival
June 28 - June 29, 2008
Ellsworth, Wisconsin, USA

We just missed the Waikiki Spam Jam in Hawaii, and the Spam-Arama in Austin, TX - both took place in April...

Also, in May was Mike, The Headless Chicken Days in Fruita, Colorado. It features another of my favorite things: Lawnmower races.  

Of note, in Castrillo de Murcilla Spain is an event for the Catholic Corpus Christi festival in which men hurl themselves over newborn infants (takes place every May)

In July, the British Lawn Mower Racing Assn' hosts a 12 hour grand turismo race. Rad.

Jelly Jelly Bo Belly

If  you've never seen my website, which likely you haven't, you are probably wondering why I would want to make horrific sounding food like "Beet Jelly". Well, that's the point.

From "Piggin Out", author Arlene Hoffman, 2002. The author is a cousin of my own cousin. I have to add that the women from this family can cook. I mean they CAN COOK. The recipes I chose to sample here aren't indicative of a lack of skill in the kitchen. Attend one Baptist wedding or funeral dinner in southern Illinois and you will be subject to a gorge-fest food orgy worthy of Henry VIII. I highly recommend it.

Lastly, I am SO making the corncob jelly when the corn gets harvested this fall. I can't wait.

Corn Cob Jelly

12 dried field corn cobs with "a good red color" about them
1 box of powdered pectin ("Sur-jel")
3 c. sugar

In a large pot cover the cobs with water and bring to a boil; allow to boil for 10 minutes. Strain liquid through a cheese cloth and measure 3 cups of the corn flavored water into a large pan. Add the pectin, bring to a boil and allow to boil for 5 minutes. Add the sugar, boiling 7 minutes longer "until the mixture sheets off a wooden spoon". Skim any foam off and pour into jelly jars. (Read up on sterilization of canning jars if you've never done it before. I'd hate to see you get corn-cob botulism)

Beet Jelly

6 c. beet juice
1/2 c. lemon juice
2 boxes pectin (Sur-Jel)
8 c. sugar
1 box raspberry Jello

"This can be made from beets when they get too large to can."

Clean, peel and slice beets before juicing. (Doesn't say how to juice a beet, but I guess you could use a juicer. Whether you need to cook them first, don't ask me! I usually roast my beets in the oven, and the skins come right off, and they are pretty juicy - so maybe give that a try then put them through a food processor and strain the juice off.)

In a large pan combine beet juice, lemon juice and pectin. Bring to a boil and add jello and sugar. Boil six minutes. Ladle into sterile jars and seal as is recommended. Makes 12 pints.

Zucchini Preserves

6 c. ground up zucchini (courgettes)
6 c. sugar
1/2 c. lemon juice
16 oz. can crushed pineapple
2 (3 oz.) boxes apricot jello

In large pan, cook first three ingredients at a boil for six minutes. Add the pineapple and jello. Pour into sterile jelly jars.

My ghost hunting days are over

After neglecting to update my website for a year or so, I've decided to switch to this blog format. I figured I could publish my new artwork here, as well as pepper the page with content I usually saved for ghosttraveller.

I doubt I'll be doing any more ghost mapping any time soon, however. My interests have changed since I started that endeavor, and with all the newfound hubbub (what with the cheesy TV shows about 'ghost hunters', 'clairvoyants', etc, etc) it just plain wasn't that unusual a subject or much fun anymore. Every fucking asshole who opened up a hotel or restaurant in North America seemed to like to say they had a "benevolent spirit" lurking about. Whatever. Rats more like.

I will happily be posting any strange vintage recipes I find, like I used to in Peggy's Antiquated Recipes and Sancho's Museum of Culinary Disasters. In fact, I just saw one recently that I'm dying to get out to you all: "Corn Cob Jelly". I gotta snag that cookbook from my mom before I can get it to you, so I promise I'll do it. I just love disgusting old cookbooks.

As for me, I've been freed from a 10 year relationship (read: dumped for the big tittied, younger personal assistant) and have moved from the White Trash mecca that is Reno, Nevada back to my original White Trash roots in Wenona, Illinois. Along with me came my trusty companion, Sancho the Rhodesian Ridgeback. And with that pet reference I come full circle, as I reminisce of my very first website of nine years ago: Sancho's Creepy Doghouse of Terror. I do indeed miss the stone age of internet blogging, when nearly everybody had some title with too many adjectives and no domain to call their own. God bless GeoCities and Tripod: training wheels for half-assed website developers.

Thanks if you are visiting. I hope to make it visually and contextually interesting.