White Trash Art

American Heroes and Madmen, #1

            acrylic on paper, 3x5"

First in a series, "American Heroes and Madmen", Sgt. Boston Corbett was credited with hunting down and plugging Abraham Lincoln assassin John Wilkes Booth with his trusty .38.

Corbett was almost delusional in his preoccupation with Christianity. He would shout out "Praise Jesus!" and the like in somewhat inappropriate situations. Often when speaking, he would inexplicably tack an extra "er" suffix to the ends of words, thus making his outbursts of Christian rapture sound even more odd during less than extraordinary everyday conversations.

Celebrated as a hero after his brush with destiny in the Garrett's barn (after he was, oddly enough, arrested and held briefly as an accomplice in Lincoln's shooting), Corbett moved to Kansas where he was given a job as an "assistant" doorman at the state court house. He blew that gig by pointing his .38 at the state legislature after he was insulted by what he felt was a blasphemous remark. He was taken out in cuffs and eventually sent to an insane asylum in Topeka.

After escaping the asylum on horseback, Corbett continued down his path of eccentricity, growing his hair out very long to emulate Jesus, and living in a hole he dug for himself in Concordia, KS. Not a "shelter", or "underground lair", mind you... a HOLE.

While residing in his, erm, hole away from home, he TOOK A PAIR OF SCISSORS AND CASTRATED HIMSELF in order to cure his desire for prostitutes.

And that, my friends, is why Boston Corbett was a hero and a madman.

Ideal cock

This is my proposed life partner. The control panel offers such diverse services as vibrate, warm up, inseminate, make a living, cook, clean, and sympathize. An optional cuddling unit  is being researched.

My ghost hunting days are over

After neglecting to update my website for a year or so, I've decided to switch to this blog format. I figured I could publish my new artwork here, as well as pepper the page with content I usually saved for ghosttraveller.

I doubt I'll be doing any more ghost mapping any time soon, however. My interests have changed since I started that endeavor, and with all the newfound hubbub (what with the cheesy TV shows about 'ghost hunters', 'clairvoyants', etc, etc) it just plain wasn't that unusual a subject or much fun anymore. Every fucking asshole who opened up a hotel or restaurant in North America seemed to like to say they had a "benevolent spirit" lurking about. Whatever. Rats more like.

I will happily be posting any strange vintage recipes I find, like I used to in Peggy's Antiquated Recipes and Sancho's Museum of Culinary Disasters. In fact, I just saw one recently that I'm dying to get out to you all: "Corn Cob Jelly". I gotta snag that cookbook from my mom before I can get it to you, so I promise I'll do it. I just love disgusting old cookbooks.

As for me, I've been freed from a 10 year relationship (read: dumped for the big tittied, younger personal assistant) and have moved from the White Trash mecca that is Reno, Nevada back to my original White Trash roots in Wenona, Illinois. Along with me came my trusty companion, Sancho the Rhodesian Ridgeback. And with that pet reference I come full circle, as I reminisce of my very first website of nine years ago: Sancho's Creepy Doghouse of Terror. I do indeed miss the stone age of internet blogging, when nearly everybody had some title with too many adjectives and no domain to call their own. God bless GeoCities and Tripod: training wheels for half-assed website developers.

Thanks if you are visiting. I hope to make it visually and contextually interesting.