Bastille Day
commissioned work to promote l'amour on Bastille Day
oil on canvas
July 07, 2009
June 18, 2009
Linds
gouache, marker on paper
June 17, 2009
meth couture #3
gouache, marker on paper
June 15, 2009
fee-jee!!
Small painting for a larger commissioned work to come.
gouache and marker on vellum
June 11, 2009
White Trash Haute Cuisine: Mock Lox, Faux Herring and More
I apologize for the un-readable font color and bizarre formatting. I have no idea why my blog editing equipment decided to get high on crack today. I'm too tired to fix it right now...
New selections include:
Mock Lox
What? So I married my daughter... that doesn't make me white trash!
Make Your Own Recycled Fridge Smoke House
3rd Place Ribbon Chicken Fried Spam
Hershey Bar and Budweiser Chili
Faux Creamed Herring
Jerry Lundegaard says "You Betcha!"
Old Favorites:
June 03, 2009
The Greatest Tear Jerker Country Songs of All Time*
*as compiled by Peggy the bartender and Donnie the plumber on a Tuesday night in a bar in an American farm town that has no stoplights
Listed in no order, because of the subjective nature of these kinds of lists:
Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss
Oh my God. So freaking awful. So ridiculously sad and depressing. Alison Krauss could make you cry just by hitting the right note with that voice that sounds like a mother singing to her babies for the very last time in the face of some unforeseen tragedy... and the lyrics! A triumph among sad country songs.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night she put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory...
Me and Little Andy - Dolly Parton
It wasn't enough for Dolly to stick us in the guts with a neglected toddler looking for a place to sleep during a horrible storm because "mommy ran away again" to the Indian casino or the crack house, or whatever... Oh no - she had to kill off the kid -and worse... the kid's DOG too. I'm going to go hang myself now.
Giddy up trotty horse, going to the mill
Can we stay all night
If you don't love us no one will
I promise we wont cry
London bridge is fallin down
My daddy's drunk again in town
And we was all alone and didn't what we could do
I wonder if you'll let us stay with you
I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry - Hank Williams
The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky.
And as I wonder where you are
I'm so lonesome I could cry
The Caroll County Accident - Porter Wagoner
After Porter's dad is killed in the mangled, bloody carnage of a highway wreck, he realizes that his old man was out poking someone who wasn't his mom. The traditional rock-n-roll car wreck tragedy song is embellished (akin to Wagoner's signature be-dazzled wagon wheel sportcoat) with a gut wrenching country twist.
I went down to see the wreck like all the rest,
The broken glass the bloody seats the tangled mess,
But I found something no one else had ever seen,
Behind the dash in Mary's crumpled up machine.
A little match box circled by a rubber band,
And inside the ring from Walter Browning's hand
El Paso - Marty Robbins
The evil tramp Felina must have a pussy that's hot as an oven and as spectacular as the Hope Diamond, because this miserable cowboy murders for it, then suicidally rushes into certain death just to get a piece of it again.
Maybe tomorrow
A bullet may find me.
Tonight nothing's worse than this
Pain in my heart
He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones
This
one made me cry the first time when I was probably 7, and has made me
fog up, and even sob uncontrollably, on countless occasions since.
Morrisey ain't got nothing on George Jones for pure unadulterated
melancholy, and I bet he knows it.
Kept some letters by his bed
Dated 1962
He had underlined in red
Every single I love you
I went to see him just today
Oh but I didn't see no tears
All dressed up to go away
First time I'd seen him smile in years...
Get it? Yeah. He's finally smiling again cause hes fucking dead.
Travelin' Soldier - The Dixie Chicks
A small town high school girl loses her first love to the Viet Cong. Good Lord have mercy.One Friday night at a football game
The Lord's Prayer said and the anthem sang
A man said folks would you bow your heads
For a list of local Vietnam dead
Cryin' all alone under the stands
Was a piccolo player in the marching band
Ribbon of Darkness - Marty Robbins
Donnie's Marty Robbins pick was "El Paso", but I have to say this one always gets to me more. It reminds me of when you're so down and low, and you've gone through the same terrible scenarios over and over in your head so much that you can't stand to think of them any more.
Here in this cold room lyin'
Don't want to see no one but you
Lord I wish I could be dyin'
To forget you
Oh how I wish your heart could see
How mine just aches and breaks all day
Come on home and take away
This ribbon of darkness over me
The Long Black Veil - Lefty Frizell (popularly covered by Johnny Cash, Emmylou Harris, The Chieftains and others)
They don't get any sadder than this one. The narrator sings posthumously about how he sacrificed his life to protect his lover's reputation.
The Judge said son, what is your alibi,
if you were somewhere else, then you won't have to die.
I spoke not a word, though it meant my life,
for I'd been in the arms of my best friends wife.
Sweet Dreams - Patsy Cline
There's only three short stanzas in this concise attack on the softest, mushiest, most damaged part of your aching heart, and Patsy goes in for the kill with that sad beautiful voice.
You don't love me, it's plain
I should know I'll never wear your ring
I should hate you the whole night through
Instead of having sweet dreams about you
Teddy Bear - Red Sovine
There's nothing like a crippled kid to get past the steely exterior of the average truck driver's road-weary heart.
This was my dad's radio the little boy said
But I guess it's mine and mom's now cause my daddy's dead
Dad had a wreck about a month ago
He was tryin' to get home in a blinding snow
Mom has to work now to make ends meet
And I'm not much help with my two crippled feet
She says not to worry that we'll make it alright
But I hear her cryin' sometimes late at night
D-I-V-O-R-C-E by Tammy Wynette
someone s-h-o-o-t-m-e
Our little boy is four years old and quite a little man
So we spell out the words we don't want him to understand
Like T-O-Y or maybe S-U-R P-R-I-S-E
But the words we're hiding from him now
Tear the heart right out of me
Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today
Honorable Mention:
Do It Yourself - Drive By Truckers
Following the tradition of great Scotch-Irish balladeers who eventually gave us Appalachian tear-jerkers comes the Drive By Truckers with this tale of a suicide in the modern South. (Also check out their song 'The Deeper In', which is a woeful tale of brother-sister incest in the milieu of a Jerry Springer existence)
Who’s to blame for the loveless marriage, who’s to blame for the broken band.
You ran from life and all of it’s pleasures, your own teeth marks on your own damned hand.
Thrown out before the date’s expired, you’d rather die than let anyone help,
You’d rather die than take a stab at living.
Nothing would kill you so you do it yourself.
Giddy Up Go - Red Sovine
The king of the trucker troubadours spins a tale of a lost wife and
child, and jams a giant lump into your throat for the tearful reunion
of father and son, so very alike, in the parking lot of some Stuckey's
on Route 66
Wreck on the Highway - Roy Acuff
There was whiskey and blood all together
Mixed with glass where they lay
Death played her hand in destruction
But I didn't hear nobody pray.
April 28, 2009
cookies
oil on wood, 16x20. Commissioned work.
February 02, 2009
works for sale
more works for sale...
February 01, 2009
original works for sale
All starting bids under $20. All original works, not prints
this week:
http://myworld.ebay.com/bedpan3
